Life of Pie: a Tinder Story
I’m just going to throw this out there: I love the Tinder app. But, probably not for the same reasons that most of the 50 million+ subscribers do. I suppose it just appeals to a terrible, inherent joy of judging. Truth be told, I can’t stand dating sites. Even though I’ve definitely tinkered with them in the past with no success, because I just can’t take myself seriously. I feel as though dating sites are just like window shopping at stores after-hours. All the pretty things jump out at you, but you have no idea what’s really inside. (that was pretty deep. Someone write that down.)
With that being said, I decided to troll Tinder as Pie: a delightfully flaky, witty, lovable character I hope you all grow to love. Obviously, I’m not the first person to join Tinder as an inanimate object, but I hope I’m the most delicious. The idea came to me after a conversation with a lovely lady friend of mine that somehow included a desire for pumpkin pie in her sex life. That’s how the idea started “baking” in my head.
Fast-forward to later that evening. I came home to enjoy some delicious whiskey, and take on the persona of becoming “Pie”. The first thing to know about Tinder is that you can’t just join Tinder. It’s directly connected to your Facebook account and phone app. That led to problem #1 of the evening: I had to create an entire new Facebook account. So, ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Yum E Pie Smith, Chief Executive Officer at “Being Delicious”:
By creating that, however, it made for problem #2 of the evening: I lost everyone’s contact info that was saved to my previous Facebook app. It was a bit disheartening to realize how many phone contacts I had just from FB. Anyway, let’s move on to the Tinder profile, shall we? Here is the deliciousness that women ages 21 – 50 had the joy of meeting:
As you can see, this is probably going to lead to some funny conversations. So, let’s just go right to some screenshots of interactions, shall we?
Match #1 happened within one minute of my profile going live. The profile is ummmmm…..interesting:
After about 30 minutes, the matches started piling up. Here’s a few highlights of some really rad girls that just really love pie.
Linda:
Gabriela was a deep thinker:
Adeline just didn’t really seem with it:
But, I simply have to give the “Best Participation Award” to Amy. Seriously. How rad is she??
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go build a new profile as a “venti skinny half soy/half skim vanilla macchiato”, “puppy”, “pinterest” or whatever stupid thing girls like now.
