The third time I saw Wil E Coyote, a confrontation was simply unavoidable. He’d been following us for the past 50 yards or so with an inquisitive gait that didn’t seem aggressive or threatening. BUT, we all know how wily these hunters can be. The last twenty feet or so came at a reserved trot, and as he approached, my instincts this time questionably involved a Kashi mocha-chocolate granola bar.
Let’s back up a bit so that paragraph has some context.
I’m in Yosemite Valley. Today is Onyx (my eleven year old black lab) and my 3rd day here. The original plan was just to spend one day here, but upon the drive in, I quickly discovered that this place is heaven, or mecca, or the Playboy Mansion….whatever your opinion of perfect geography may be. So, we decided (well, I decided. He’s still very much a dog) to stay a couple nights at one of the campgrounds. Fortunately, we’re here the week before Spring Break, so there is still availability. Unfortunately, I did not see a weather forecast, due to lack of cell service in the valley.
On day #3, I learn that it would be pouring rain in about an hour, and a major snowstorm is approaching, with an estimated 18 -24 inches of snow. “Is that a lot?” I asked the friendly, pigtailed park ranger (relax, she was like 70). Being from Florida, I don’t really know how snow works. But, let’s not get into that.
That being said, it appears my tire-chainless van is stuck in the valley for a currently questionable amount of days (it would end up being 9). So, making the most of it, Onyx and I continued our love of exploring the scenery. The decision was made to hike through a fairly large prairie and head further down towards the Merced River to get a more distant view of Half Dome and the Yosemite Upper Falls.
Not 10 minutes into the hike through the prairie, I saw something moving. Shockingly, I saw the movement before Onyx. Not 50 feet from us, the tan colored, overgrown prairie grass seemed to be parting while something was walking through. My first instinct was to grab my phone to snap a picture of whatever was about to walk out of this grass, now about 10 feet away.
And there he was.
He seemed way more interested in us than I thought he would be. If I’m being honest, this is the first coyote I’ve ever seen. I’ve heard them in the distance almost nightly for the past 6 months, but never had I actually seen one, let alone been close enough that Onyx’ retractable leash could reach. Maybe it was too many cartoons as a kid, but I had always pictured them as scraggly, skinny, drooling, growling monsters. But, not this guy. Dare I say he looked like a cute, brown husky? His fluffy tail pointed to the sky, his full winter coat dancing in the breeze, his charming smile almost looking right through me. I think he may even have actually posed for a picture, hoping he could be captured #nofilter
Then, reality set in. This is a predator. We are potential food. Oddly, Onyx was silent during these maybe eleven seconds. That would change as soon as I raised my arms and yelled loudly “GET OUTTA HERE!!!! GOOOO!!!! GETTTTT!!!!” I wasn’t exactly sure what the proper vernacular for yelling at predators was, so I just winged it. Onyx joined in with an aggressive series of loud barks and howls. Then we both watched as the coyote scampered back into the brush.
However, not 3 minutes later, he’s back. Although this time, we can’t exactly see him, just the rustling of the prairie grass again. Again we yelled (and barked)!
ARRRRRRRRR!!!!!! GETTTTTTTTTT OUTTTTTT!!!!!
Apparently, I thought Pirate-talk might coerce him to hunt smaller things. It worked…or so I thought.
The third and last time, our coyote friend had built up enough courage to make contact. It happened fast. Like, very fast. Although, he ran at us at half speed, my heart was now beating out of my chest. We stood our ground as he approached. He initially made contact with Onyx. Snout to snout, they smelled each other, but for some reason, none of the three parties seemed too afraid. I began to think maybe this fellow had been around humans long enough that he expects food. So, I did what every sign and every park tells you NOT to do: feed the wildlife. I thought this may be my only chance to get rid of him. I grabbed a granola bar from my pocket in hopes I could throw it and get him away from us while we escaped. He may seem docile now, but who knows when a coyote’s aggressive instincts may kick in.
I slowly opened my Kashi bar and put the wrapper back in my pocket. I’m becoming increasingly frightful at this point, so I’m shaking as I do so. I break it in half, thinking I’ll give him half here, and throw the other half as far as I can, and walk as fast as possible out of here. PLEASE, let this beast love the creative, delicious flavors brought to us by Kashi! The two animals are now smelling this mocha-chocolate bar, and staring intently. Am I really going to have to hold Onyx back to feed a freaking coyote? This situation doesn’t even seem real.
No sooner had I gently tossed the granola bar directly at the coyote’s head when Onyx barks and charges the coyote. With a mouthful of Kashi bar, the coyote BOLTS off into the nearby woods, not to be seen again during our stay. Onyx and I quickly hike off into the opposite direction. He’s visibly pouting the whole time because I split my only Kashi bar with a coyote, and not him.
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